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Wrapped in a familiar
night, I lay on my bed. The cover binds me as I twist to adjust to some
level of comfort. I am too warm - no, too cool. I suggest to myself in
the darkness, "Perhaps if I can just slip my foot out from the edge of
the cover..."
I close my eyes again and try to slow my mind that is swaying somewhere
between settled and unsettled. My thoughts dart through scenes of shadow
and light like children playing tag at dusk. Some are captured and
subdued, while others run free with delight. I am restless.
I turn again.
I breathe deeply. Nothing do I anticipate. Even my drumming heart
harmonizes by my steady breathing. Some nights I perceive that rhythmic
concert. Most I don't. Wrestling no longer with the bedding, I find
my struggle is between fear and hope. In the desert of darkness I
believe that there is more.
A better way than I have known. I am beckoned to a higher place than
I have yet to find.
I contemplate.
God calls.
I will follow.
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